Guess Who's Coming to Brinner

 

with

I'm sensing a theme on SGDF. Bean always looks normal and I smile like a serial killer.

Yesterday evening, after going to a lecture given by Alexandra Fuller, Bean, NutMeg and Sassafrass (NutMeg's roommate) and I met up for that holy meal known as brinner, or, less succinctly, breakfast-for-dinner.

Let the Record Show:

If this post sounds at all odd to you at any point (I mean more than usual, wise guys), bear in mind that last night I totally won Library Chicken. I'm running on about 3.5 hours of sleep and the ever-satisfying thrill of victory.



On Alexandra Fuller:

I've blogged about my Living Writer's class before in my critically acclaimed post ""Ha Jin Makes Nug Have Thoughts," and I'm here to tell you that it continues to be incredible. Yesterday, Alexandra Fuller, the author of Don't Let's Go to the Dogs Tonight, came to campus.

So much awesome

Without going into too much detail, if Ha Jin is Bruce Banner, Alexandra Fuller is Dr. Gregory House. She's brilliant, and can't hear social cues over the sound of her own awesome. Which, I might add, is really terrifying in a Q and A session.

With so little time for your bullshit

Anyway, Fuller also writes for National Geographic, which made me realize that that would be a great job for me. Bean's reply to this revelation was "Well, duh, Nug. You spend half your time looking at pictures of Maori butt tattoos."

Yup.

Thoughts on Brinner:

First of all, to truly appreciate brinner, you have to embrace the notion that it is always 7 a.m. somewhere. In the collegiate parlance, the devotion to the concept that certain foods can only be consumed within a particular range of hours is an arbitrary human construction imposed upon us by our slavish obedience to the ultimately groundless dictates of our culture.

When you accept that logic, you'll come to realize that brinner is truly the perfect and quintessential college meal.

Consider the menu:

1) Potatoes and onions. Chop, put in pan, olive oil, salt, pepper, oven. Done.

Making the potatoes is as easy
as recapturing an errant spud  from the bottom of an oven with tongs is difficult. 

2) Scrambled eggs. I'd like to take this visually dull moment to reflect on how it is nearly impossible to take an appetizing picture of scrambled eggs. Or, apparently, of brinner (see below).

3) Bacon.

Most of the crew spent the prep time watching me watch bacon.

Then you're done with the grown-up part of your meal! It was super delicious, but perhaps photography is not the best medium with which to capture it.

I swear it was tasty.

How you approach the next step is critical. You could be a responsible, serious adult and stop here. But that really would detract from your quality of life because the next step is --

4) Pillsbury cinnamon buns. I know we say this a lot on SGDF, but seriously, they are nature's perfect food.

A scene from Norman Rockwell's nightmares. 

There's something about popping open that weird cardboard cylinder, laying them tenderly in the pan, watching them rise as the apartment fills with their cinnamony scent, and then slathering them with glaze that makes all of your worries disappear. As long as your worries don't include calories.

I think Timon had it right:

Hakuna Matata, man. 

So have some cinnamon buns with your brinner.